“Fela proposed, but Lizzy rejected the marriage proposal. He said it is “God’s will” and that since she didn’t accept it, she won’t have a blissful marriage with whomever she gets married to”.
I will review three case studies to show that regardless of the fact that Lizzy’s Choice differs, rejection of the proposal doesn’t mean either one or both of them were wrong and therefore wouldn’t have marital success when they eventually get married.
A lot of people have wrong mentalities regarding marital choice. God is not a dictator that forces His will on His children against their wish. According to the scriptures, a man finds a wife through Gods guidance, thus, chooses one of God’s suitable children whom he loves and fits his purpose. (Proverbs 18:22, Psalm 37:23).
Case study 1:
Billy Graham, a renowned and fiery American preacher fell in love with Emily Cavanaugh at Trinity College (formerly the Florida Bible Institute) and proposed to her in the summer.
She had to think about it and eventually said yes. But later she was having second thoughts. Graham began courting the dark-haired Emily Cavanaugh. He proposed by letter but was upset when she would not wear his corsage to a school party. That night, she said she wanted to marry his friend, Charles Massey and in the spring she dumped Billy Graham for Him. She said she doesn’t believe Billy would amount to much as a theologian and anthropologist but she believed Charles Massey would be great since he would receive education from Harvard University (World class University).
Later, Billy Graham fell in love and proposed to Ruth Bell where they were both studying at Wheaton college, Chicago.
My Analysis; Billy Graham became a great worldwide fiery preacher who even delivered speeches at Harvard University. One would have thought that Emily Cavanaugh would become a riff-raff because she rejected Billy’s Proposal. I found out that her husband; Charles Massey was in the military for many years. He returned to his alma mater, Trinity College (formerly the Florida Bible Institute) where he served as a professor and dean. In an interview with Charles, he said, "They just felt that the Lord was calling them in two different directions. "Emily went with me all over the world, and Billy also found the girl (Ruth) who went with him all over the world."
I found great articles about how the two families both served God and touched lives before their deaths. Moreover, they all lived long. Ruth Bell Graham and Emily met at a Billy Graham Crusade and both seemed to enjoy one another. Ruth in particular wanted to thank her for breaking up with Billy! Biographers often wanted to speak with Emily, but she desired privacy.
“I speak as a man,” if Emily had married Billy Graham, I still believe, they would both wrought great exploits together. Though, Charles and Ruth might get married to different spouses, I still believe they would have also wrought great exploits because all things work together for good to them that love God.
Case study 2:
John Wesley met what may have been the love of his life, Grace Murray. Murray, a sea-captain’s widow. She was of a very good character and he would have married her but, Charles Westley, His brother discouraged Him from marrying her. John Bennet, one of Wesley’s preachers was also in love with her. Thus, she was stalked between two men. Wesley asked for her hand in marriage, and she said yes. Bennet also proposed to Murray, and a dispute between the two suitors ensued, each claiming to have asked her first. After much confusion, Grace Murray and John Bennet were married. John Wesley’s brother, Charles, conducted the ceremony. Charles Wesley never thought John Wesley should marry Murray because he believed she was so inferior to his own wife in social station and therefore not good enough to marry his brother. But because John Wesley was hesitant and delayed, Grace was left in uncertainty and married John Bennet.
Later, John Wesley marriage Mary (Molly) Vazeille, the widow of a London Merchant, in a private ceremony. Unfortunately, their marriage was rocky almost from the start but John Wesley’s travel schedules as a preacher put a strain on their marriage. At first, Molly accompanied him, but soon it was too much. It seems she began to resent their time apart. Molly left Wesley several times only to return. Then, in the mid-1770s, they separated but not divorced and she left for good. Molly died in October 1781.
Like Billy, I would have said Grace’s acceptance of John Bennet’s proposal doesn’t mean John Wesley would have a bad Marriage. But, indeed, John Wesley had a sardonic marriage. I believe that this is due to the fact that Instead of getting married to his wife, John Wesley was married to his work. A Gospel minister ought to give preference to his marriage which is his first ministry. If one fails at this first one, the second ministry is tainted.
Though, I read lots of articles about how Molly, Wesley’s wife demonstrated bad character and tarnished His image publicly. This attitude is very absurd but I believe she did it out of frustration as she couldn’t trust Him since He usually travels for long without her and Wesley had close ties with many Christian women who were attracted to Him. My conclusion is that, though if Wesley had married Grace, perhaps, she might have handled the mater more maturely. Also, if Wesley had given preference and attention to Molly, they would have had a great marriage and wrought exploits together. It is also possible that if Wesley had married Grace, they would still have a bad marriage because Wesley gave preference and attention to ministry over marriage.
Thus, one may marry exactly who God says he should marry, but if he doesn’t play his roles in the marriage, he would fail woefully.
Case study 3
In the 1980s, President Barrack Obama proposed to Sheila Miyoshi Jager after he entered the Harvard Law School but she rejected him. Later, he met Michael at Harvard school and she accepted His proposal.
I found out that Sheila Miyoshi Jager is a Professor and great historian who had published many papers and authored severaL books made married Jiyul Kim, a U.S. Army veteran and history professor at Oberlin College. They have four children, and they reside in Ohio. One would have thought that Sheila Miyoshi is unfortunate perhaps because she might have being a first lady in America. But, I believe she is satisfied with her life because she is not a pauper neither did she marry a Spartan man, though they are not as popular as the Obamas. However, this article is not claiming that those who reject marital proposals or those whose proposals were rejected CANNOT end up as paupers. It all depends on one’s FAITH and SAGACITY.
In conclusion, as a lady, because about ten brothers have interest in you doesn’t mean they aren’t God sent or that they are all wrong for coming to you. Sometimes, God may allow you to even be in two or more courtships before getting married to your actual husband in other to teach you some things.
Finally, don’t get frustrated when someone breaks your heart. Don’t think negative about yourself nor the person. Don’t make the person an enemy. Leave everything to God because it may just seem that you were not meant to be together.
You can comment your thoughts at the comment box below.
(WRITTEN BY APAPA TAIWO HAMID, 2018)
Tobias, Andrew J. (2017)."Oberlin College professor received unsuccessful marriage proposal from Barack Obama in 1980s, new biography reveals" . The Plain Dealer .Retrieved 11 May 2017.
Miyoshi Jager, Sheila (2013). Brothers At War: The Unending Conflict in Korea. London, U.K.: Profile Books. p. XV. ^ G. E. Harrison, Son to Susanna, London, Nicholson & Watson, 1937, p. 144.
Vulliamy, John Wesley , London, Geoffrey Bles, 1933, p. 214.7. ^ The words of N. Curnock, (ed.) J. Wesley, The Journal of John Wesley , London, Epworth Press, 1938, 3: 375n.